why does it always seem that i am doomed to suffer from some chronic illness every time i'm just about to embark on a fun trip?

my stubborn cough has managed to triumph fer almost an entire week now, and dammit i hafta set sail tmr, sick or not.

yes, am gonna cruise with halimama, claka and cheryleney to the land of nowhere! :)

today, while collecting our portrait paintings from Miu art studio, i was abruptly seized by a coughing attack without warning. as i stood hacking away to my heart's content like an old man with tears streaming down my face, the lil' japanese kids around looked up at me with fear in their eyes. oh boy, i must've scared 'em bad. they thought i was gonna collapse on the spot and die. hahaha wtf.

mag so didn't help by presenting a beautiful box of Shangri-La chocolates in front of my very eyes when we met later in the day. popped one into my mouth and ended up a wreck. (i still love you maggo!)

to cheer myself up, i spent some bucks on a GnR mtv-cum-concert vcd. am deeply in love with axl rose, though he sways funny heh.

anyway i discovered that liking someone may not be sucha torture afterall, as most people often make it out to be. in fact, i very much enjoy simply liking that special someone for who he is, be it unconditionally or without any expectation of the other party. cause only then will i be able to attain the freedom of a singleton and also at the same time relish in the sweetness of innocent admiration. that way, i am already contented. any positive response derived from the other party is well, considered a bonus haha. however it does not need to render anything more, or necessarily lead to the blossoming of serious romance.

i'm aware that there comes an inevitable point in every relationship whereby concerns to do with fucking returns/ commitment/ jealousy/ neuroticism/ possessiveness/ security and all that jazz unwittingly creep in, all which tend to taint the excruciating beauty of love and dull the senses of a lover. i don't need all that, being the ever wary and cautious me. therefore i choose to love the way i love.